Wednesday, March 23, 2011

High School

     B and I walked down to see the High School she might go to next year. It's in the neighbourhood.

     It's HUGE.

    Well, maybe it only feels that way because her current school is so small. She'll be going from a student body of 70 to one of a few hundred. But her class will hopefully be small.
     I find myself thinking of what I am going to do when she wants to date. How will I deal with that? What kind of things will I look for in her interests to gauge how trustworthy they are? She likely won't be too reliable in that department.
     I've already spent years teaching her about sex, safer sex, owning her body, and trying to slyly inform her that 30 is a good year to start dating. :/ I am very much not a prude, and I expect her to want to date and to date, but what if she has seizures? What if she can't read body language enough to know when someone has turned threatening? What if she and her date argue, and she gets left somewhere by herself? What if her date drinks, but she doesn't know the signs.
     Yikes, I have SO much to think about.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Conversations With B

B: How many x's and o's do I have in me?
Me: What?
B: You know, chromsomes?
Me: Chromosomes? Uh, I'm not sure off the top of my head, I'll have to look it up.
B: I have two, two o's, because I'm a girl.
Me: No, you have two x chromosomes. If you were a boy you'd have an x and a y.
B: I pretended to be a boy once.
Me: Oh, yeah, how'd that go?
B: It was weird.
Me: How so?
B: Well, I forgot to lift the toilet seat, but it doesn't matter, because I don't have a penis!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

When Mommy's Sick

     I haven't posted in awhile, because I've been the sickest I've ever been in my life. I've had lymphadenitis and cellulitis, horrible infections, since the 1st. I've had to have IV antibiotics to treat it, and I've been in and out of the hospital. The rest of the time I've been barely mobile.
     All of which has been very hard for B. B has not been to school since I got sick, except for Wednesday when my friend took her in, because I can't take her in or drop her off, and I can't pick her up if she has a seizure. So, she's just been home, with a mom who's been barely conscious for the last week, not giving her attention, and only doing the barest momming. On top of that, she's felt worried that I might have something more serious and I just didn't tell her.
     This lead to an emotional breakdown on Saturday, the day I could least deal with it, because that was the day I grew worse and had to go to the hospital by ambulance.  I had to make sure, when I started feeling even a bit better, to sit down and cuddle her and talk to her.
     It's not that she lacks empathy, she is quite empathetic, she just has a lot of trouble expressing negative emotions and has a tendency to explode with crying and anger. It is very worrisome.
     In other news, she drew herself as a fetus, with the most amusing flipper feet I've ever seen. She also wants a skull.