Pediatrician Appt.

     On Monday we saw B's pediatrician. I think I have mentioned before that she has the best Pediatrician. Dr. P has been with her since birth, and he is a caring and conscientious man. Not that all her other doctors aren't great, they are, but Dr. P is just the doctor that always makes me feel better about what is going on.
     He agrees with Dr. F and me that these meds are not working for her, but he also worries that she needs to see a tertiary psychiatrist at Children's because she might be having depression symptoms. She's already diagnosed with depression, but I have not wanted to medicate her because she's already on so many meds.
     "You may not have a choice," he said. And he is right.  I have to stay open to all the choices. DR. P has never pushed me into any treatments. When I hesitated at getting vaccinations for her at birth, he was very calm and non confrontational, unlike some others who were irate. I did get her vaccinated, after I had processed all the facts.
     We also talked about the surgery. He said the wait won't likely be long to get assessed, because the surgeon who does it knows that once a neurologist has actually referred a patient to him, well, that neurologist has already emptied his bag of tricks.
     Dr. P said that if the seizures aren't localised, meaning a removal of that part of her brain, then they might separate the two sides, since we know she has a pathology (injury due to stroke) on the right side.
     I really want to get her a puppy right now. I really think it would pick her spirits up, give her a real need to get out of the house, and help her interact with others. Unfortunately, the pet rescues I have been in contact have been run by, uh, really eccentric and uncooperative people.

When The Meds Don't Work

     B has had a horrible time of it lately. Her seizures are quite bad lately. On Monday she had three. Is the new med not working? Or just not yet? I don't know. She's having a lot of trouble cognitively. She can't follow the plots of cartoons and she's struggling to put sentences together. Her normally bad memory has taken a nose dive. This has led to high frustration and temper tantrums, which she doesn't normally have, because it's really hard when you don't know what's happening most of the time.
     Today we got squeezed in at the neurologist's. The increase in seizures as well as her emotional and cognitive problems are a cause for concern. For now, we will stay on the schedule for the medication.
     I REALLY hope it starts to work, because her neurologist feels like it's time she was assessed for brain surgery, where they will likely remove part of her brain. I really don't want that. But the meds don't work. But the surgery isn't a guarantee. But the meds might work, for awhile. But maybe they won't for the long term. But the surgery is dangerous. But the seizures are stealing her life.
     Apparently children that have tried two or three drugs for seizures that haven't worked are candidates for surgery. B has been on six.
     You know, it feels really weird to have normal interactions with people when you have just been told such things. A little while ago I went to cash a cheque, and I promised B some pizza. They wouldn't cash it because it's a day earlier then the cheque is dated, even though they have the last two months. It's perfectly reasonable, but I became instantly and profoundly depressed that I couldn't buy her pizza. She doesn't remember I said I would, and we have tons of food at home, but I just felt really sad. And now I'll have to go tomorrow and see if the teller thought I was being rude.